When I entered the year 2012, I had
this feeling that it will be the year of big changes. As I looked ahead, I saw
joy and brightness. Yet I had no idea what those changes were about and what
parts of my life would be improved and what problems would be solved.
It’s fun to go back to January and
re-live the thoughts and feelings, knowing now what’s up ahead. If someone had
told me then where I’d end up at the end of the year, I would not have believed
them.
What were the big changes?
Well:
1. Starting
from February, I had a pen-pal in the states to who I wrote every day and
thought there will be something more to it eventually; yet 8 long interesting months
later, the writing ended. I’m not disappointed; I’m not heart-broken, I’m just
a little sad to lose a friend the way I did.
2. I
learned some huge facts about my friends that I didn’t know before that changed
my relationships with them. I’d like to think for the better, of course.
3. I
worked with Heartbeat Tallinn project, which was a huge pile of uncertainty to
the very last day and beyond that. But it was an interesting experience and I
can say now that I will probably never take on two jobs simultaneously.
4. I
changed churches this year. Finally, after 26 years of being in the same church
with my family, I decided to grow my independence. As it turns out, it was a
crucial step in my healing process.
5. I
got to go to Chicago this year. Even though I didn’t go under the fountain that
insured the trip back, I managed to be in Chicago again. It was a lovely and
awesome and encouraging trip that I enjoyed fully.
6. The
GLS conference this year was an experience that both frustrated and inspired me
at the same time.
7. I
got the “HR Cookie” called “The Energy Bomb of the Year”, which was a testament
to me being totally awesome and I’m sure everybody knows where my awesomeness
comes from!
8. God
taught me some valuable things about myself, about my family, about my friends
about loads of things. He showed me the areas of my heart that were hurting and
needed to be dealt with. There were things I didn’t even imagine causing pain in
my heart that are now out in the open and need the fresh cooling air to make
the pain go away.
9. I
made a list of projects I will most certainly participate in and try to say
“NO” to other things that come my way.
10.
My little sister moved to England, to live there. I
think because she's so far away, we've become slightly closer and can talk
about things more openly. Which is pretty awesome!
So – it was a year of change. It was
a year of new beginnings. It was a year of necessary endings. It was a year of
stepping on a new level with different matters. It was a year of spotting the
wounds. It was a year of relief.
So the year 2013 will be a year of
making an effort in keeping the ship in the direction of positive change,
better relationships and conscious decisions that support the decisions and revelations
made in 2012.
Will I succeed? Who knows. But yet
again I step into the new year with the portion of excitement in my heart to
see what God will do this year!
