Meil oli Hannaga eelmise nädala neljapäeval jälle üks mõnus vestlus ja siis tõdesime ühte asja, mis on mind pannud kuidagi teistmoodi suhtuma enda ellu ja praegusesse situatsiooni, kus olen. Nimelt see, et olen kaua aega palvetanud, et Jumal näitaks, mis on Tema plaan minu elu jaoks, et ma juba teaksin ja saaksin käia Tema plaanis. Ja vahel leidsin ennast mõtlemast, et miks juba ei toimu midagi ja et millal Jumal midagi minu elust teeb. Avastasime Hannaga, et pekki – juba olemegi Tema plaanis ju. Mis see praegune elu siis on? Kuidas ma nimetan seda, mis praegu mu elus toimub? Võib-olla ma ei tahan, et Jumal ilmutaks oma plaani selles mõttes, et millal ma saan ükskord neid asju, mida omas südames mõelnud olen? Et mees ja minu enda kodu ja mingi konkreetne töö koguduses? Kui seda pole, siis ei ole Jumala plaan? Tegelikult olen ju praegu ka ühel rännakul. Käin mingit rada. Isegi kui see ei ole päris see ideaalne, mida oma vaimusilmas ette olen kujutanud, siis ometi see on minu elu ja miski, mis tuleb (Jumala arvates) läbi käia? Või ise olen oma valikutega siia sattunud ja nüüd selleks, et ma saaks seda maksimaalselt võtta, tuleb oma suhtumist muuta. Mitte olla koguaeg igatsevil silmil tuleviku suunas, vaid avatud silmil olevikus ja vaadata, mida PRAEGU saaks ära teha ja sellest HETKEST maksimum võtta.
Hästi filosoofiline, aga noh. Äkki mõistad!
Ja tegelt tulekski võtta seda kui kuldajastut Jumalaga koos. Heh. See muudab nii palju. See muudab minu ootusi ja hinnanguid praeguse oleviku kohta. Isegi kui kõik ei ole sada prossa perfektomondo, siis ometi olen ma teel, missioonil, plaani ühes etapis. Koos Jumalaga. Ja kui ma olen veel hästi tubli, siis saab Tema mind kasutada, kasvatada, õnnistada, õpetada ja mida kõike veel.
Siuke heureka lihtsalt. Mõni mõtleb, et daaa, obvioosne ju. Aga minu jaoks tuli sellise sähvatusena.
Äkki mõnda aitab veel.
Kalli kalli ja ole tubli!
teisipäev, 18. jaanuar 2011
kolmapäev, 29. detsember 2010
The update on my life
I don’t understand what’s with me these past few weeks. I don’t know if I’m dealing with tiredness, boredom, frustration, anxiety, loneliness or what but there’s something off. The sad part is that there is no reason for it. Therefore I can’t name it.
I am actually very happy that my life is so blessed. I have a good warm home, my family is das best, my friends are over the top awesome and I have a good steady job. Church is there, I can consider GLS a success this year, I got to be a part of Equip and made an impression on the coordinator there and I realize over and over again that my friends are awesome.
When my roommates left on the 21st of December, it was sort of my meltdown. It was the top of the mountain when I felt that I can’t take this anymore. And I still can’t really sort out what the “THIS” is. My best friend Hanna asked me how I was that day over the skype. I told her that my roomies left and that there was this thing at work and that I don’t have new roomies and that I can’t really say that I’m doing all that well. Hanna said “OIOI” and told me she has to go for a second. I said I’ll wait. After 20 minutes my phone rang and it was Hanna telling me to unlock the door for her. She came in and told me that she just wanted to give me a hug. I was in shock. Do I really have THAT good friends? When did I ever deserve it? When do I ever do THAT positive and awesome stuff to my friends? Don’t remember. Anyways. She told me that she has only time to give me the hug I need and that she really needs to go back home, cause she has an exam in the morning. Yet we started talking for a second and suddenly she went: “Who am I kidding, I can’t go home, I have to talk to my friend!” And she stayed overnight. We talked for hours and it was an awesome time.
Then few days before that beautiful incident I got a call from England. My best England-friend called. Joanne was behind the wheels on her way to the Connection group and just wanted to chat a bit. It was sooo great to hear her voice and the accent and the laugh and everything joyful I remember about her. Then she was at Ian’s place and I got to talk to him as well. What an awesome time. The same night the best roommate decided to stay with me that evening and not go to a party she was invited to. It was one of the best relaxed evenings I’d had in a long time.
And my sisters and brothers have been awesome. I had a very good time with them over the Christmas time. And the gospel choir is totally awesome with the band and stuff.
I realized that something was wrong when I got to a point that I didn’t want to organize things anymore. Like gospel choir Christmas party or something special for the Christmas Eve or the Friends Christmas party etc. Cause I usually want to and usually have the energy and need and desire to do stuff. It’s not that I lack of ideas. It’s just that there’s a lack of motivation.
Sooo many good things going on. And I should be the happiest girl in the neighbourhood.
But there’s this something that doesn’t let me.
I need a decision. To be content with my life and not look for the things I don’t have or have the things I don’t want. And just take my life as a blessing as it is just that.
Do you know something about my life that I don’t?
I’m searching for answers.
I’ll put a very suitable lyrics of Michael W. Smith here that describe a little of where I am:
Missing person
Another question in me
One for the powers that be
It's got me thrown
And so I put on my poker face
And try to figure it out
This undeniable doubt
A common occurence
Feeling so out of place
Guarded and cynical now
Can't help but wondering how
My heart evolved into
A rock beating inside of me
So I feel such a stoic ordeal
Where's that feeling that I don't feel
There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searchin' for that missing person
Under a lavender moon
So many thoughts consume me
Who dimmed that glowing light
That once burned so bright in me
Is this a radical phase
A problematical age
That keeps me running
From all that I used to be
Is there a way to return
Is there a way to unlearn
That carnal knowledge
That's chipping away at my soul
I've been gone too long
Will I ever find my way home
He used to want to try to walk the straight and narrow
He had a fire and he could feel it in the marrow
It's been a long time and I haven't seen him lately
but I've been searchin' for that missing person
I am actually very happy that my life is so blessed. I have a good warm home, my family is das best, my friends are over the top awesome and I have a good steady job. Church is there, I can consider GLS a success this year, I got to be a part of Equip and made an impression on the coordinator there and I realize over and over again that my friends are awesome.
When my roommates left on the 21st of December, it was sort of my meltdown. It was the top of the mountain when I felt that I can’t take this anymore. And I still can’t really sort out what the “THIS” is. My best friend Hanna asked me how I was that day over the skype. I told her that my roomies left and that there was this thing at work and that I don’t have new roomies and that I can’t really say that I’m doing all that well. Hanna said “OIOI” and told me she has to go for a second. I said I’ll wait. After 20 minutes my phone rang and it was Hanna telling me to unlock the door for her. She came in and told me that she just wanted to give me a hug. I was in shock. Do I really have THAT good friends? When did I ever deserve it? When do I ever do THAT positive and awesome stuff to my friends? Don’t remember. Anyways. She told me that she has only time to give me the hug I need and that she really needs to go back home, cause she has an exam in the morning. Yet we started talking for a second and suddenly she went: “Who am I kidding, I can’t go home, I have to talk to my friend!” And she stayed overnight. We talked for hours and it was an awesome time.
Then few days before that beautiful incident I got a call from England. My best England-friend called. Joanne was behind the wheels on her way to the Connection group and just wanted to chat a bit. It was sooo great to hear her voice and the accent and the laugh and everything joyful I remember about her. Then she was at Ian’s place and I got to talk to him as well. What an awesome time. The same night the best roommate decided to stay with me that evening and not go to a party she was invited to. It was one of the best relaxed evenings I’d had in a long time.
And my sisters and brothers have been awesome. I had a very good time with them over the Christmas time. And the gospel choir is totally awesome with the band and stuff.
I realized that something was wrong when I got to a point that I didn’t want to organize things anymore. Like gospel choir Christmas party or something special for the Christmas Eve or the Friends Christmas party etc. Cause I usually want to and usually have the energy and need and desire to do stuff. It’s not that I lack of ideas. It’s just that there’s a lack of motivation.
Sooo many good things going on. And I should be the happiest girl in the neighbourhood.
But there’s this something that doesn’t let me.
I need a decision. To be content with my life and not look for the things I don’t have or have the things I don’t want. And just take my life as a blessing as it is just that.
Do you know something about my life that I don’t?
I’m searching for answers.
I’ll put a very suitable lyrics of Michael W. Smith here that describe a little of where I am:
Missing person
Another question in me
One for the powers that be
It's got me thrown
And so I put on my poker face
And try to figure it out
This undeniable doubt
A common occurence
Feeling so out of place
Guarded and cynical now
Can't help but wondering how
My heart evolved into
A rock beating inside of me
So I feel such a stoic ordeal
Where's that feeling that I don't feel
There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searchin' for that missing person
Under a lavender moon
So many thoughts consume me
Who dimmed that glowing light
That once burned so bright in me
Is this a radical phase
A problematical age
That keeps me running
From all that I used to be
Is there a way to return
Is there a way to unlearn
That carnal knowledge
That's chipping away at my soul
I've been gone too long
Will I ever find my way home
He used to want to try to walk the straight and narrow
He had a fire and he could feel it in the marrow
It's been a long time and I haven't seen him lately
but I've been searchin' for that missing person
kolmapäev, 8. detsember 2010
neljapäev, 4. november 2010
The Life Changing Trip
I just remembered the time before the concert trip and really thought about not wanting to go. I did not feel good about asking that many days off from work, I did not feel good about the people that were chosen to come and I really didn’t like that we didn’t have a keyboard player in our band. So basically, Liisu can confirm, I really didn’t want to go.
BUT.
I went.
When we arrived to England, a familiar face was greeting us – Paul King in person. What a nice start and awesome person to get to see first. On Thursday, 21st of October, we stayed at the hotel near London (Although I was pretty sure we came from Scotland, until about four days later).
The next day we went to the Christian Centre, Middlesbrough. We got there around lunch time and waited for Ian who came straight from work. It was nice to see another familiar funny face (FFF). :D
We all were very surprised when he handed us “The Schedule”. All I expected from this trip was to sing at the concerts and see some people, I didn’t realize that there are people who really want to bless us and make us feel really welcomed and served. Weird. It was the first time I thought this is not going to be “just another concert trip”.
We met our hosts, me and Anu got to see Jo-Jo for the first time and her house and the car and her driving the car and her gift basket and her empty freezer (it got filled up pretty fast) and the long distance it took us to get to their place (although she drives crazy and we were there faster than when Ian drove us home).
The next day we went to the theme park and really had a great time there too. Yet I was sort of worried about the evening service. Which was our first concert. Nobody but Martin had heard us and I was sort of amazed by the trust Ian and others had for Martin, who said we’re awesome. Ian introduced us like this: “When Martin came to me with an idea to bring the Gospel Choir to England and said they were awesome, I thought that he describes a cup of tea as awesome too.”
So the first concert. It was basically the first time we, ourselves, heard how our choir (well this version of the choir) sounds like and how the band supports us etc. And since we were really used to having our own mics, it was a bit scary when we had to sing in a choir mic all of a sudden. It was the moment of truth if the England side can breathe easily knowing that it was the right thing to invite us and organize all this and spend that much money on us or not.
Luckily it was all alright. EVERY TIME. The weird thing about it was, though, that at every sound check I freaked out thinking that this concert is going to be the bad one and that we really don’t sound any good, the sound system is not that great and we are not feeling it with the band. Then we got together and we prayed and our Almighty Loving God came and made everything and everyone sound awesome!!!
I’m not going to be any more detailed about the concerts, cause I wrote a travel diary and if you want to read it, ask.
I feel that God changed me on that trip. I feel that He got through to me, He caught me. He freed me. He made me free from some unnecessary thoughts, fears and my inability to trust certain things.
I got to witness miracles of healing both physically and spiritually, see people getting happy and free in Christ and all other things that really showed me that God was with us on this trip and that He is really with me on this trip too. Amazing.
I believe I got some new life-time friends on that trip:
- Martin and Margaret with their kids - who really blessed me with everything they are
- Ian - who is my personal hero career wise, with all the organizational skills, sense of humour and a heart for the lost.
- Jo-Jo and Chris – my new best-(England)-friends who opened their home to the strangers and then didn’t want us to leave in the end. And I am planning to take over their little perfect world. ;)
- Mel and Wendy – mother and a daughter, the Queen and Princess of the GREAT COOKING KINGDOM.
- Stuart and Marion – The way they pray and serve the others is admirable.
- Paul – His Manchester tough look and sound cover only so little of his warm and loving and serving heart. Beautiful person.
On that trip I got sort of released from the fear of praying for others. I didn’t want to take the responsibility of people not getting their answers from God or not being blessed and healed by God when coming in front for prayer. God showed and told me that it is not me in the first place to do any of that stuff. It’s God who heals, blesses, answers, gives peace etc. I am just a tool, just a voice helping them to pray to God. Lovely.
I was extremely not happy to return home, I wanted to stay there, stay in that bubble of blessings I received daily. I thought that this will all end once I’m back at home and in my everyday life.
It’s been three days since the trip ended and I still feel God is with me and I have that little fire in me that was started on that trip. I want to keep the fire burning and want to make it even bigger and more influential.
Yet it’s my constant prayer of getting a clear answer of where God wants me to be in this world. Is it Estonia, England or somewhere else – I don’t know. But I do know that right now I am where I’m supposed to be.
So thank you God for everything. Thank you my friends for everything. Thank you my choir, my band, my family for everything.
LOVE YOU! BLESS YOU!
...
To be continued...
...my life, I mean.
BUT.
I went.
When we arrived to England, a familiar face was greeting us – Paul King in person. What a nice start and awesome person to get to see first. On Thursday, 21st of October, we stayed at the hotel near London (Although I was pretty sure we came from Scotland, until about four days later).
The next day we went to the Christian Centre, Middlesbrough. We got there around lunch time and waited for Ian who came straight from work. It was nice to see another familiar funny face (FFF). :D
We all were very surprised when he handed us “The Schedule”. All I expected from this trip was to sing at the concerts and see some people, I didn’t realize that there are people who really want to bless us and make us feel really welcomed and served. Weird. It was the first time I thought this is not going to be “just another concert trip”.
We met our hosts, me and Anu got to see Jo-Jo for the first time and her house and the car and her driving the car and her gift basket and her empty freezer (it got filled up pretty fast) and the long distance it took us to get to their place (although she drives crazy and we were there faster than when Ian drove us home).
The next day we went to the theme park and really had a great time there too. Yet I was sort of worried about the evening service. Which was our first concert. Nobody but Martin had heard us and I was sort of amazed by the trust Ian and others had for Martin, who said we’re awesome. Ian introduced us like this: “When Martin came to me with an idea to bring the Gospel Choir to England and said they were awesome, I thought that he describes a cup of tea as awesome too.”
So the first concert. It was basically the first time we, ourselves, heard how our choir (well this version of the choir) sounds like and how the band supports us etc. And since we were really used to having our own mics, it was a bit scary when we had to sing in a choir mic all of a sudden. It was the moment of truth if the England side can breathe easily knowing that it was the right thing to invite us and organize all this and spend that much money on us or not.
Luckily it was all alright. EVERY TIME. The weird thing about it was, though, that at every sound check I freaked out thinking that this concert is going to be the bad one and that we really don’t sound any good, the sound system is not that great and we are not feeling it with the band. Then we got together and we prayed and our Almighty Loving God came and made everything and everyone sound awesome!!!
I’m not going to be any more detailed about the concerts, cause I wrote a travel diary and if you want to read it, ask.
I feel that God changed me on that trip. I feel that He got through to me, He caught me. He freed me. He made me free from some unnecessary thoughts, fears and my inability to trust certain things.
I got to witness miracles of healing both physically and spiritually, see people getting happy and free in Christ and all other things that really showed me that God was with us on this trip and that He is really with me on this trip too. Amazing.
I believe I got some new life-time friends on that trip:
- Martin and Margaret with their kids - who really blessed me with everything they are
- Ian - who is my personal hero career wise, with all the organizational skills, sense of humour and a heart for the lost.
- Jo-Jo and Chris – my new best-(England)-friends who opened their home to the strangers and then didn’t want us to leave in the end. And I am planning to take over their little perfect world. ;)
- Mel and Wendy – mother and a daughter, the Queen and Princess of the GREAT COOKING KINGDOM.
- Stuart and Marion – The way they pray and serve the others is admirable.
- Paul – His Manchester tough look and sound cover only so little of his warm and loving and serving heart. Beautiful person.
On that trip I got sort of released from the fear of praying for others. I didn’t want to take the responsibility of people not getting their answers from God or not being blessed and healed by God when coming in front for prayer. God showed and told me that it is not me in the first place to do any of that stuff. It’s God who heals, blesses, answers, gives peace etc. I am just a tool, just a voice helping them to pray to God. Lovely.
I was extremely not happy to return home, I wanted to stay there, stay in that bubble of blessings I received daily. I thought that this will all end once I’m back at home and in my everyday life.
It’s been three days since the trip ended and I still feel God is with me and I have that little fire in me that was started on that trip. I want to keep the fire burning and want to make it even bigger and more influential.
Yet it’s my constant prayer of getting a clear answer of where God wants me to be in this world. Is it Estonia, England or somewhere else – I don’t know. But I do know that right now I am where I’m supposed to be.
So thank you God for everything. Thank you my friends for everything. Thank you my choir, my band, my family for everything.
LOVE YOU! BLESS YOU!
...
To be continued...
...my life, I mean.
kolmapäev, 20. oktoober 2010
esmaspäev, 20. september 2010
See tee...
Rääkisin siin vaiksel õhtul Tullaga juttu. Mõnus on, kui saad kedagi aidata sellega, et oled lihtsalt online ja oled olemas - ka läbi neti.
Arutasime elu ja tulid sellised filosoofilised mõtted nagu naksti klaviatuuri klõbinal.
Kõik algas sellest, et Tulla küsis, mis arvan lausest: "you get what you deserve".
vastasin: "You get what God thinks is best for you!"
Tulla ei jäänud mõnusa mõttekäiguga võlgu: "Vale tee ei muutu õigeks ka siis kui seda mööda kaugemale minna."
Tuuliki oli kuulnud seda üks hommik raadiost.
Vale tee ei muutu õigeks ka siis, kui seda mööda kaugemale minna. Nii tõsi. Vahel mõtlen, et miks me pingutame seda valet teed õigeks teha? Kas me tõesti arvame, et kuigi see Jumala tahe ei ole, teeb Ta sellest meile õige tee, kuna me nii kangekaelsed oleme? Vahel see nii on. Sest suudame sellest õigest plaanist nii kaugele minna, et Jumal peab mõtlema muu teelõigu, kuidas meid jälle joonele saada. Ja siis see vale tee justkui on õigeks osutunud, kuigi tegelikkuses see seda siiski ei ole olnud.
Filosofeerisin edasi, et mis siis saab kui see õige tee on meie arvates vale? Tulla arvas, et õige tee korral on meil rahu südames. Julgesin väita, et ei pruugi. Teadupärast on inimesed ebatäiuslikud olendid. Meil on probleem - madal enesehinnang. Vägivaldselt koondan kõik inimese probleemid sellesse ühte sõnakombinatsiooni. No võib ka öelda, et ebakindlus Jumalas, kui nii parem on.
Me ei taha uskuda, et oleme väärt Jumala parimat plaani. Me ei taha usaldada, et see, kuhu Jumal meid viimas on, ongi see kõige parem, mis Jumalal on meie jaoks. Me ei taha seda teed kõndida, mis tulemuseni viiks. Me ei viitsi, ei julge, ei taha, ei oska seda teed käia.
Inimesed on tobedad. Mina olen tobe. Mul ka raskusi sellel Jumala teel käimisega. Ikka tulevad need kahtluseussid ja usaldamatus, nagu Peetrusel, kes pärast paari sammu vee peal vajuma hakkas. Mul läheb ka vahel täitsa hästi. Nagu kõnnikski vee peal ja tunnen rõõmu sellest, et olen Jumalaga uskumatus kohas. Ja siis tabab otsekui välk selgest taevast, et see kõik on füüsikaseadustele vastu. Et minuga ei juhtu selliseid häid asju ja üldse ma olen nii kole ja igav ja tüütu (Liisu - shhh) ja tobe inimene, et see ei ole õige, et minu jaoks võiks kellelgi olla mingi imeline plaan, mis mind õnnistaks.
Inimesed on tobedad. Mina olen tobe.
Aga õnneks - ÕNNEKS - tuleb siin mängu Jumala ARM ja ARMASTUS. Ja nendest kahest asjast ei peagi lõpuni aru saama. Aga neid kahte asja tuleb USALDADA.
Sellega ma tegelen.
Pea igapäevaselt.
Vot tak.
teisipäev, 7. september 2010
Eilne ehmatus
Ei, mitte mina ei ehmatanud, vaid mu väike õde.
Nimelt peale palvelahingut käisid Isa, Lauri ja Liisu minu juurest läbi, et võtta Gretele Laurist maha jäänud riidekapp kaasa.
Ja kui Liisu minu tuba nägi, oli ehmatus suur. Elan nagu siga tallis praegu. Ei tasu külla tulla kui arvad, et olen hull korraarmastaja. Igasugune motivatsioon korda hoida hetkel puudub. Laud on igast träna täis ja sahtlisisu vedeleb põrandal.
Nüüd esmaspäeval sain teada, et pean selles korteris elama veel kolm nädalat. Ehk peaks kätte võtma ja nati koristama? Ehhh...
Sahtlisse tagasi tõsta asju ei taha, ilma, et ma poleks sorteerinud, mis jääb ja mis läheb. Tean, et tahan palju ära visata. Ehk alustan sellest? Kuna praegu ei viitsi mõttega koristada, siis elangi nagu väike põrsas. :)
Oeh, see kolimine on tüütu. Seda enam, et mul on täiskomplekt asju üksi elamiseks ja nüüd kolin kellegi juurde, kes on ka juba aegu iseseisvalt elanud ja palju on talgi olemas. Aga pressin mitu oma asja ikkagi ka sinna. Ja mõni asi tuleb kasuks.
Näiteks eelmiseks sünnipäevaks saadud mikrolaineahi, mille mu kallid sõbrad mulle kamba peale kinkisid. Nii vägev.
Aga jah. Kui keegi tahab tulla minu juurde külma südamega asju ära viskama, siis andke teada. :)
Heh, just tõdesin, et ülikooliajal jäi see üliõpilaseelu elamata, see ühika elu. Nüüd siis, ligi kaks aastat peale ülikooli lõpetamist, saan tunda, mida see tähendab.
Olen pooleldi põnevil ja pooleldi kahtleval seisukohal, kas ma ikka tahan seda. Aga otsus tehtud ja alati saab ju jälle välja kolida kui tõesti väljakannatamatu see olukord on.
Aga ei usu. Kuigi tean 1/3 inimestest, kellega koos elama hakkan, olen juba põnevil.
Ulli muretses, et mis nüüd meie mänguõhtutest saab. Kui Sina ka muretsed, siis ütlen Sullegi rahustuseks: Pole mõtet muretseda - ka uues kohas on võimalused olemas ja asukoht isegi sobivam?
Tasub mõelda.
Igatahes, aitäh, et kaasa elad. Mõtlen, et need liblikad võivad ollagi ka sellepärast, et see, mis ees, on teistmoodi ja huvitav ja natuke ka tundmatu ala.
Oligi juba liiga rahulik ja stabiilne see eluke?
Nimelt peale palvelahingut käisid Isa, Lauri ja Liisu minu juurest läbi, et võtta Gretele Laurist maha jäänud riidekapp kaasa.
Ja kui Liisu minu tuba nägi, oli ehmatus suur. Elan nagu siga tallis praegu. Ei tasu külla tulla kui arvad, et olen hull korraarmastaja. Igasugune motivatsioon korda hoida hetkel puudub. Laud on igast träna täis ja sahtlisisu vedeleb põrandal.
Nüüd esmaspäeval sain teada, et pean selles korteris elama veel kolm nädalat. Ehk peaks kätte võtma ja nati koristama? Ehhh...
Sahtlisse tagasi tõsta asju ei taha, ilma, et ma poleks sorteerinud, mis jääb ja mis läheb. Tean, et tahan palju ära visata. Ehk alustan sellest? Kuna praegu ei viitsi mõttega koristada, siis elangi nagu väike põrsas. :)
Oeh, see kolimine on tüütu. Seda enam, et mul on täiskomplekt asju üksi elamiseks ja nüüd kolin kellegi juurde, kes on ka juba aegu iseseisvalt elanud ja palju on talgi olemas. Aga pressin mitu oma asja ikkagi ka sinna. Ja mõni asi tuleb kasuks.
Näiteks eelmiseks sünnipäevaks saadud mikrolaineahi, mille mu kallid sõbrad mulle kamba peale kinkisid. Nii vägev.
Aga jah. Kui keegi tahab tulla minu juurde külma südamega asju ära viskama, siis andke teada. :)
Heh, just tõdesin, et ülikooliajal jäi see üliõpilaseelu elamata, see ühika elu. Nüüd siis, ligi kaks aastat peale ülikooli lõpetamist, saan tunda, mida see tähendab.
Olen pooleldi põnevil ja pooleldi kahtleval seisukohal, kas ma ikka tahan seda. Aga otsus tehtud ja alati saab ju jälle välja kolida kui tõesti väljakannatamatu see olukord on.
Aga ei usu. Kuigi tean 1/3 inimestest, kellega koos elama hakkan, olen juba põnevil.
Ulli muretses, et mis nüüd meie mänguõhtutest saab. Kui Sina ka muretsed, siis ütlen Sullegi rahustuseks: Pole mõtet muretseda - ka uues kohas on võimalused olemas ja asukoht isegi sobivam?
Tasub mõelda.
Igatahes, aitäh, et kaasa elad. Mõtlen, et need liblikad võivad ollagi ka sellepärast, et see, mis ees, on teistmoodi ja huvitav ja natuke ka tundmatu ala.
Oligi juba liiga rahulik ja stabiilne see eluke?
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