teisipäev, 3. september 2013

Faults in relationships

Yesterday I had a lovely time with my beautiful friend Tulla. Even though we chat almost daily, we don't get together that often, so seeing her in person is an event of its own.

We talked for hours. About topics we always go through and topics that we have never talked about and we got to share our opinions and sort of discover a new side of each other.

We talked about relationships. There’s a time in every relationship where you have to decide if the (annoying) difference in other person is something that is possible to overcome or overlook or it’s something that is so unbearable and unchangeable that it’s better to part ways.

How do you tell you’re significant other or a dear friend or a family member that there’s something about him/her that really puts you off?  Are you a person that hardly ever says anything and secretly despises the other person or are you on the other end and constantly pointing out the mistakes and bad habits of the other? Or are you someone who just talks to others about the persons problems that you think he/she has?

I think I’m a combination of the three. I tend to talk to other people and not the person it is about. And I know I should stop that and just pull up a courage to talk to the person that I have trouble with.

Have you heard of the expression “The more you think about yourself, the more sad you get?” I think it applies to other people too – the more you think about other peoples problems and how they annoy you, the more agitated you get.

So what’s the key here? How to cope with your annoying close ones? Aim your focus right. Aim your focus on God. Aim your focus on how awesome God is and the troubles you have on Earth, seem empty and pointless.

What would make things even better – look at the Lord together with the person closest to you and other people around you that you can’t “escape” from.

I wish I could actually do that. Overlook the mistakes of others. Overlook the mistakes of me. Well, maybe overlook is the wrong word. Forgive. Be okay with. Handle it nicely. The problem is that we tend to be too hard on ourselves and it’s only fair if we are hard on others too. But is it?

It’s not fair to be hard on ourselves too. Today another friend told me these words: “You often use the word fail when you talk about things you're doing. I just wanted to tell you that god isn't concerned with your performance, but He is concerned about your heart and He wants you to fell free.“ Don’t I have wise friends?

That really sums up what I’m trying to say. If we only actually understood it…

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